Effective LEadership for the 21st Century
A conscious and compassionate communication
"My warmest thanks to you for the holding, the listening, the respect and presence you gave us and which have paved the way for the great developments [in our relationships]." Alain
In the Rosenberg Communication Process, the role of the mediator is to seek clarity for the groups or individuals who are not in agreement over strategies implemented to meet needs. The purpose of the mediation is to create a climate of trust. Both parties have the opportunity to realise that empathy does not involve submission. They become aware of the fact that although actions carried out to meet a need can cause conflict, the needs themselves do not.
The Process explores the deep-seated aspirations on either side and then provides space for both to search together for ways to meet the priority needs that have been identified. Mediation sessions unfold as follows:
i) The mediator assists party A in uncovering their needs. If there is rage or other pain, the mediator coaches party A in transforming their judgements into needs. Should the mediator detect any enemy images underlying utterances by A, he will encourage A to transform them in the same way as any other judgement.
ii) The mediator helps party B to reflect back the needs expressed by party A. (It may well occur that something stated by A puts B in touch with unmet needs and strong feelings. In such a case, the mediator will interrupt actual mediation in order to give B all the empathy they need so that they can give their full attention to A.)
iii) Phases (i) and (ii) are repeated where B replaces A and A replaces B.
iv) Once both parties have expressed their important needs and have heard them reflected back by the other party, the mediator moves on to a relatively short phase devoted to problem-solving. During this part of mediation strategies are proposed by A, B and the mediator with a view to meeting the needs of both A and B.
The outcome of mediation is a decision on the implementation of one or more strategies to meet the priority needs of both parties as expressed at the end of phase (iv) of the mediation process. One spin-off benefit from the process is that the parties have compassionate understanding of the other's viewpoint and a collaborative relationship often develops.
Godfrey has repeatedly experienced the effectiveness and efficiency of the Rosenberg Process in achieving the joy of long-term reconciliation.